This week in the Not A Fan study the topic is about our sinfullness and how we deal with it. Sure, we know Jesus washes it away, but how much of our sin have we revealed to Jesus?
As I look at my past sins and think through them, I am finding places where I have not dealt with my sin in very productive ways. I am not advocating that we have to fix it on our own before we can be good enough to be loved by Jesus; not in the least manor. There are some sins I have committed and I no longer commit. Yay!! There are other areas though I seem to continue sinning, like a bad habit or something. Often I turn to Romans 7, the things I want to do, I don’t seem to be able to do, the things I don’t want, these are the things I am doing (paraphrased here a bit) I tend to rationalize them, cover them up, make excuses, ignore them, rank them and compare with others so I come out on top comparing my very best to someone else’s lowest deeds.
I wonder how many feel like this is their story too. Did Jesus really forgive you for… ? What I am realizing is this, those areas in my life I wouldn’t want to really have the hard conversation with Jesus about (my sin) are the areas I for some reason think I have to get it right before I can go to Jesus and say, “Here, now I got the stain out of my life, I think I can let you love me now.”
Maybe you have given up on getting it right and so maybe you found it easier to not try. Maybe you find reading the Bible to much, as it reveals so much you are ashamed of. I can’t go to church because it doesn’t seem to be helping, instead it just makes me feel worse, is that your response?
The 4 acounts of Jesus’ life in the Gospels show Jesus as very approachable, no matter how bad we think we have been. The challenge is the battles I face, are only battles when I take my focus off of Jesus. I can try to hide my sinfullness and in so doing deny the grace God offers. It is when I am willing to share my struggles with Jesus I find freedom. It is when I fail to do so that guilt and shame become a burden.